


Vanilla Cleansing

by iArgent



Series: Bitter, Sweet, Salty, Herbal [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beau the breu, Caleb has a thing for molly, Crushes, Fantasizing, Fingering, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Protective Caduceus Clay, and an active thing with essik, and maybe a thing for caddy, mistakes are mine, no beta we die like men, relearning how to touch himself is a time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 14:30:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18812824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iArgent/pseuds/iArgent
Summary: Two weeks out of Xhorhas Caleb is getting antsy, Beau is getting curious, and Caleb isn't sure what Caduceus is getting but it's weird.All of which culminates in Caleb trying to handle himself for the first time in years and finding he very much prefers others to do it. Because now he can't look people in the eye.





	Vanilla Cleansing

**Author's Note:**

> This got long so I snipped it. there should be between 8 and 12 fics in this series.

Being back in the Empire was a mixed bag.

 

It was nice to see the sun again, though he missed Jannik. And it was nice to be in the familiar area of Zedash again, to get Cali’s package. Though he missed Essik, not that he would say that. And it was nice to pay for a bathhouse again that wouldn’t look at him oddly for being skinny and pale and human, but bathhouses made him miss…

 

“So like. You and Shadowhand got…close, right?” Beau ground out, ale in hand, dropping into the seat next to him in the Tavern, where he was trying to copy spells. Fingers idly tracing over Essik’s notes, carefully copied, as he paged by.

 

“Ja, we are friendly.”

 

“I dunno, I’m pretty friendly with Jester but I don’t let her finger me against doors.”

 

“Beauregard!”

 

“Well it’s true.”

 

Caleb fixed her with a look, red painted on his cheeks “Maybe you should try it.”

 

Beau snorted. “Hey man, you’re my friend, I love you, I’m glad you’re back in the fucking arena. But never make me see you having sex again.”

 

“I still can’t believe you saw that.”

 

“He just smirked at me, like an asshole. You’re fucking an asshole.”

 

“Beau.”

 

“Or well, so is h-”

 

Caleb stopped the sentence cold by tipping her tankard up until it nearly poured onto her shirt. Beau looked vaguely irritated for a bit before looking sheepish. “Sorry, don’t wanna make it weird but, I mean I gotta tease ya. ‘s what family does, yeah?”

 

The wizard rolled his eyes “From what I have heard, yes.”

 

“We need to ask someone with siblings.”

 

“Maybe not this exact question.”

 

“Maybe not.”

 

A silence lulled them back into their usual habits. Beau sipping her drink, Caleb writing.

 

“So like. Was…Was it nice, to have that regularly? With a friend?”

 

Caleb tilted his head to look up at Beau, slouching in her seat, even as he bent over his books. “It…was certainly hard to go from that to nothing. I miss it, I suppose.”

 

“Yeah but do you miss Essik? Like, did you like him?”

 

“I do like him, yes. And.” He trailed off a moment “Yes, I do miss him.”

 

“Don’t get me wrong I don’t wanna hear about your dick, or his dick, or any future or past dick, but like. Is it different? When you like someone a lot and it’s…regular.”

“We…Got used to each other, and it improved each time. Toward the end there it was heavenly. I’ve always liked sleeping with people I know and can get used to, more than…one off. Not that I’m passing judgement.”

 

Beau shrugged “Nah man. Just, never had the opportunity? Like, Keg was nice, but eh. Seeing you and Essik, and eurgh, Nott and Yeza together makes me wonder.”

 

“You’re still young, Beauregard, you should try what you like.”

 

Beau nodded, tapping the table “Cool, cool.” and she lifted her ale for a long swig.

 

“Any headway with Yasha?”

 

A choking noise echoed from the tankard Beau was gulping from. Sputtering, she slammed the tankard down “What the fuck? Dude you can’t just.”

 

Caleb huffed a little laugh and pretended to keep reading.

 

“Did you just laugh.”

 

“Ja, it was funny.”

 

“You. Laughed.”

 

Caleb turned to her again. “Ja, yes, I did.”

 

Beau smiled for a moment “He’s good for you. Lock that shit down, okay?”

 

“We are actually thinking about trying out new people.” He blurted.

 

The momentary soft expression on Beaus face faded “Did he fucking dump you? I don’t care if he’s some Dynasty bigwig I will march back and punch him in the balls.”

 

Caleb stared momentarily. “Ah, no. We um. We are not…together. But we both prefer being with more than…more than one person. So we want to.”

 

Beau’s enraged expression faded to a front of nonchalance “Oh okay. So like, group sex, or like…Because I’ve never done either of those and I really don’t wanna ask but I’m stuck with you or porn. Also, Jester’s sex knowledge is from porn, and as the only member of this group getting any on the regular, you should talk to her.”

 

“I am not group dad because I’m getting laid, Beauregard.”

 

“Well, I can’t ask Molly, he’d be freer…No, still don’t trust that, he’d.” She trailed off, looking distressed, and took a swig, clearing her throat. “So anyway, group stuff?”

 

Caleb latched onto the lifeline with both hands, merrily skipping over the dark chasm of pain any mention of their fallen comrade brought up in he and Beau, and even Nott. “Um, I’m sure you’re asking the difference between a relationship and an orgy.”

 

“Wait but you said a group.”

 

“Yes, Beauregard. Sometimes, people…like having romantic and sexual relationships with multiple people, but…um. Not…open. A relationship, just with more than one person.”

 

“So…Would Essik also be romantic with the other people? Wait would you guys be together together?”

“I…Hope so. I like having people to call mine, I guess. Like that.”

 

“So, it’s like dating and being married, it’s just more than one person.”

 

“Ja.”

 

“Have you ever done that before?”

 

Caleb went silent, the already awkward conversation grinding to a halt, as Beaus curiosity gave way to an expression indicating she realized she’d hit a sore point.  

 

“Look, you don’t have to-”

 

“I have.” Caleb said slowly. “In Solstryce. Astrid and Eodwulf.”

 

Beau was quiet.

 

“Up to…graduation. The night before, if we are oversharing.”

 

“That’s really fucked up, Caleb.”

 

“Ja. Ja it is.”

 

“Did, um Ik-”

 

“I suspect he knew.”

 

They trailed off into silence.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

A moment passed, Jester and Nott were playing some outrageous card game against the locals. Fjord watched on, amused, with Caduceus, bemused. Yasha had been shooting Caleb looks all night, probably checking on him as Beau had been.

 

“Soooo. Other people, huh. Who can you really trust to take home to your drow magic sugar daddy?”

 

“Never say that again.”

 

“Yeah it was weird. Point stands though. Got a…type, or just…hoping to find more traitors, y’know?”

 

At least she pitched her voice low, or Caleb would be worried this was an impostor.

 

“C’mon man, you might like different bits than me, well, maybe not, but I’m in a dry spell, alright? Let me live through you.”

 

“I prefer men. Women are a rarity.” Caleb quipped.

 

“Gross, but c’mon,gimme something. What about that dude at the bar? With the broad shoulders ‘n shit? He’s like, not foul.”

 

The human man at the bar was probably twice Caleb’s size, muscular, and crowned with a thick mane of dark hair. Handsome by most stretches of the imagination.

 

“I think I’m not looking for a human.” Caleb murmured.

“What about…I know you said like, sometimes girls, but the half elf at the end? With the red hair and the cute nose? Or is that too human? Also, what the fuck?”

 

Caleb took in the cute half elf at the end of the bar. She was indeed cute, but not at all what he wanted. “I’ve gotten use to a drow, I don’t know, I guess I’m just…I don’t know.”

 

“So like, someone with a tail?”

 

“Yes Beau, from now on I’ll only accept options that have tails.” Caleb was sarcastic, and Beau saw that, he could tell. But he also saw her nod in determination.

 

“Jester?”

 

“No!”

 

Beau nodded. “But tieflings are good, yeah? They’ve got the..” She lifted her top lip “Teeth. Also, tails.”

 

Caleb just stared blankly.

 

“Fine, I’ll leave you to your book. Good talk.” and she punched him in the shoulder, standing up to leave.

 

Caleb got a few more spells transcribed, hardly paying attention to the diminishing sound in the tavern until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

 

“Mr. Caleb?”

 

He jerked, startled, distracted and trying to connect a voice to a statement. “Ah, Mr. Clay. Can I help you?”

 

Caduceus smiled, soft and wide in a way that made Caleb feel like mush and sapped tension from his limbs. “It’s late, I figured I’d try to get you to go to bed.”

 

“Ah, so it is. I’m ah, done here.”

 

“Mr. Caleb?”

 

Caleb halted in picking up his books, looking up to Caduceus. “Ja?”

 

“Could we speak, privately?”

 

Caleb nodded before the sentence was complete. “Of course, mein friend. I have my own room, we could speak there?’

 

Of all he members of the Nein, Caduceus was least likely to be pulling a trick on him or leading him into some shenanigans. So the awkward pause when he shut the door behind him was confusing.

 

“Mr. Clay?” He prompted. “Is everything alright?”

 

Caduceus’s ears fluttered a bit and, oh, that’s very cute.

 

“I wanted to ask you that, actually.” Caduceus revealed, head tilted and violet eyes, a few shades lighter than Essik’s, soft.

 

“Oh, I’m fine.”

 

“I just thought, when we left you and Mr. Theylas were close and I realize it’s hard to leave people you care about.”

 

“That’s very kind Caduceus.”

 

They stood in silence.

 

“Sorry, if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.” Caduceus started, almost jittery, rather than his usual slow pacing “He was nice to you, right?”

 

Confused, Caleb responded “Ja, yes, very kind.”

 

Caduceus shuffled a bit uncomfortably “I don’t want to make this awkward, Mr. Caleb, but I did walk by your room a time or two while he was over. You sounded like you were fighting, sometimes, I just want you to know, if anything is wrong, you can come to me about it, even if I’m not particularly good at, um, intercourse conversation.”

 

Caleb blinked “We were never fighting, but we did have, erm, rougher…intercourse, on occasion.”

 

Caduceus’s ears pulled back a little, almost aggressively. “But he didn’t hurt you?”

 

“No more than I allowed or asked for, Caduceus are you alright?”

 

Seeming to notice his more aggressive posture, Caduceus relaxed, ears flickering out to the usual swooping state, muscles relaxing. “Oh, yeah I’m fine. Just worried about you. You mean a lot to us, Mr. Caleb.”

 

The wizard nodded slowly. “Alright. Mr. Clay, if you ever need to talk, I realize I am a fucked up person, but I am here.”

 

“You’re not a fucked up person.” Caduceus responded rapidly.

 

“O..Okay.”

 

“I’ll let you get some sleep.”

 

“Ja, thank you Caduceus, for your concern.”

 

“Anytime.”

 

Caleb stared at the door for a while, confused and a bit taken aback by the weirdness of the conversation. But he was tired, and some sleep would do him good. He did take time to set his alarm and lock the door, but fell asleep very quickly after.

 

He had the strangest dream. Essik took up most of his dreams lately, more memory than fantasy. He remembered the door Beau had complained about. Nails scraping the wood, face against the cool surface, legs spread as Essik fingerfucked him until his toes curled, cock wet in his pants and desperate for friction. Essik with a hand on his hip and orders in his ears keeping him from doing anything about it as the drow slowed to stroke feather light touches over his prostrate that made him want to die.

 

And suddenly he was in his room, answering the door, talking to Caduceus, still slicked and stretched from Essik when the firbolg slid a thick finger into him, his gentle presence belying how big his proportions could be-

 

And Caleb startled awake.

 

He was hard, and panting from the memory and dream, but oh so confused. He realized Caduceus was, well, cute. He was a striking fellow. But he’d never really thought of bedding him. The firbolg wasn’t the same as the sweet bloodhunter who still slipped into these dreams on occasion. He was…uninterested in sex, let alone Caleb, and he hadn’t shown romantic inclinations. Caleb spared a thought to how such a large creature would even take him before shaking the thought from his head.

 

It had only been two weeks since his last encounter with Essik, and for all he played it off, he missed him a great deal.   

 

Shuffling from his bed and getting rid of his clothes, Caleb hesitated. While true he was…active, again. He had avoided it for years. Including laying hands on himself. Granted, he had done a few things with Essik that had involved him touching himself, the train of thought he was following was a new one. Licking his lips nervously he fished a little vial of oil out of his pack and brought it with him back to bed.

 

He exhaled, a soft shivery thing, and bent his knees, avoiding looking at his neglected cock as it lay red and tip glistening against his stomach.

 

He popped the vial open and poured a good amount on his hand. Then thought better of it and rubbed his hands together, realizing if he was going to do this, he’d best do it right. He restoppered the vial with some difficulty, and layed back.

 

He wanted it, but his body didn’t seem to want to comply, he was tense, and frustrated, and unhappy, wondering where to start. He closed his eyes, trying to remember how Essik turned him to putty. He loved pushing on his abdomen, rubbing hard circles on his stomach, heel of his hand over Caleb’s navel and fingertips in his pants.

 

Eyes closed, Caleb trailed fingertips over his stomach, digging in short nails for some of the sensation Essik provided, eventually feeling that warm sparking feeling in his limbs. Biting his lower lip he slid a hand between his legs, tugging himself a few times until his hips canted. His body was well trained now, he realized, his rim clenching and fluttering , waiting for the cock that wasn’t going to come this time. He reached past, gently gliding over his own rim with slick fingers, circling before slipping one in, realizing he was so used to the stretch that Essik’s usual two was his baseline, and hurriedly slipping another in. His other hand going to tug as his aching cock again as he began to scissor his fingers experimentally. He hadn’t done this is a long while. He slowly drew back and pushed in again, enjoying the spark it sent into his belly, cock dribbling a bit at the sensation.

 

“Ja, okay, you can do this.”

 

It didn’t feel as good as someone else touching him, he realized, whether that simply meant he was out of practice, or spoiled, or normal, he didn’t know. He closed his eyes, trying to make his hands work together as one slid into him, he added a third finger and oh, that changed it. Oh, that changed a lot. He squeezed his eyes closed, wondering how much he could take, unable to add more fingers at this angle and resolving in some corner of his mind to invest in a toy phallus. Something large and unyielding.

 

He pictured Essik, shadowy and handsome and absolutely filthy when he was fucking Caleb, the dark purple of his hands leaving purple bruises on Caleb’s hips, violet eyes glinting in created light as he snapped his hips into Caleb over and over until he couldn’t form words. He recalled his teeth, fangs, so sharp and sexy against his throat. He remembered Essik kneeling between his legs, holding his thighs in an iron grip and he fucked him, face intense and determined, and red eyes bleeding into a smile as a whipcord tail wrapped around his leg and the tiefling-

 

No.

 

That was a path he couldn’t go down now, no matter that Molly’s beautiful mischievous face drove him as wild as the memory of Essik did.

 

He returned to stroking and thrusting, his brief startled reaction had set him back, but still, he could feel the sweat pricking at his skin, feel how soft he was, hot, wet, silken insides and a velvety layer of skin over his ruddy cock. Was Caduceus’s soft?

 

His hand picked up speed, toes curling as he managed to prod his prostrate, planting his feet onto the mattress and lifting his hips as his balls tightened.

 

Was it soft, furred? He bet it was large. Bigger than Essik, large enough to fill what three fingers didn’t.

 

And then his belly twisted. Hot cum soaking his hand and pooling in his navel. His ass clamped down in the way Essik loved, fluttering and milking, Caleb twitched his fingers to play for a moment with the silky walls of himself. It felt wonderful.

 

He brought his cum covered hand to his mouth on pure habit, the other hand wiping itself on the blankets, and licked it clean.

 

He still didn’t taste sweet.

 

As he settled back into bed, mopped up with a rag and a basin to the best of his ability. He flushed.

 

How was he going to face Caduceus, sweet, nice, not interested Caduceus, in the morning when he’d just brought himself to orgasm thinking about his dick?


End file.
